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While a near 2 year old 'New Range Rover'(L460) prototype circles the N'ring, on its umpteenth lap, waiting forlornly for the BMW V8, Tobias Moers is already doing his magic on Mercedes-Aston Martin, helped by the godsend of the football Super League, and so Avram Glazer pictured in his orange interior Aston DBX in Palm Beach, all over the news - kryptonite to JLR's last money spinner(s) - Full-fat/Sport SVR:

Aston Martin boosted by strong DBX sales in first quarter of 2021

 

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'Enyaq' - Irish for Gamechanger annihilator - burnt whole, its ashes cast to the four winds.

'I absolutely love this car. Proud owner. Got it 1 week ago and the finish is top quality, the drive is super. The only downside is that its very very popular. Over here in The Netherlands, already thousands have been sold (roughly 600 delivered). So it is becoming 'a normal car' instead of a 'special car' too soon.'


'Chewy' is somewhere - an institution for the criminally insane? - still swearing that the 'Gamechanger does 200 miles+ "easy" on the motorway'(slipstreaming 56 mph lorries).

Wait until the Q4 e-tron arrives... . Oh boy.
 

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Pah! Who needs engineers, engineering, millions of man-hours and development miles, when you have top London creative agencies, billing at ~£7k per diem per partner, coming up with the next stunning name to put on JLR's latest world-beating tech and products.

We are F*cked:

50680



The ICE Macan, to this day still without PHEV, MHEV?, already makes mincemeat of the Joque, Wart(E-Pace), F-Pace, Velar... , still thee posh, performance, compact SUV, with residuals that make the Bank of England look like fly by night money printers- oh they are.

A 'PPE', genuine clean-sheet EV, using the Macan name, will make Fort Knox's fake 'world's biggest gold reserve' also look like the criminal counterfeiters they are - a licence to print money to the gold standard.

That boot of that car sums up where Tata's JLR, Spaffer and the UK went beserk, criminally insane, and a laughing stock to the rest of the world that can still count, and write legibile sentences - beyond 99% of 'masters' and 'doctoral' level Brits - UK universities also started counterfeiting, around the early 90s, greed overtaking any integrity, pride in doing a good job, and selling worthless paper, certificates, MAs, PhDs etc, to also craven, greedy idiots.

The end result is a nation literally gone mad - 'Global Britain', 'Empire 2.0' - when we are sub-, sub- BL of the 1970s - with our posterchild, world-beating JLR car company.

Some f'er(s) will have to swing for all this eventually, when enough citizens sober up, and realise how appalling the real situation is.
 

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Even 12-18 months out, you can tell this thing has Taycan++ flipping values written all over it - will be commanding £20-50k routinely on its rrp for several years after intro - production won't be able to keep up:

50681
 

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Why is Automotive News top-billing, putting as news, an article from a week ago, already published?:

Why Jaguar is done chasing BMW, Audi, Mercedes

'May 04, 2021 12:00 AM'


- is it the only way to have 'news' about JLR?

Like the object of their undying devotion - and their gravytrain/private school fees shekels - the 'global' media seem stuck in a timewarp, varying from one week to 25 years, for the 'world-beater' JLR - the 1996 Ford('AJ-V8') engine - which is about the only thing keeping JLR somewhat alive - top Full-fats and Sports.

JLR has gone fully the way of 'The Royal Family'/The Firm, another leech, parasite, taxpayer funded and propped up anachronism, 'beloved' of the braindead proles too, and reported on by the 'global' media also every five minutes, with breaking, earth-shattering 'news' - usless guff - PR - about non-entities, doing non-job usless things - er, like JLR.

But, I must have missed this, the first time round, from the 'freelancer' Nick Gibbs:

'The engine lineup would be one electrified gasoline unit, with diesels cut altogether, JLR outlined in its presentation.'

- er, isn't that the acutal news of this latest, otherwise usual fawning tripe from 'reporter' Gibbs?

- isn't that as good as official confirmation that 'Project Jennifer', the BMW V8 to JLR, is dead, no more?

'One petrol unit' means almost certainly Ingenium.

It also almost certainly means, and confirms, that the 1996 AJ-V8 is about to be no more, as even JLR/UK.gov cannot swing an ancient engine through Euro7 - or let's face it, not even Euro6 - legitimately.

AJ-V8, and all its offshoots, like 'AJ133', the blanked-off V8 block 'V6' especially, had to die, not just because of emissions, but at least equally because of its p!ss poor power output, specific power output, 5 litres displacement, making less, real, than the latest 3-litre six cylinder engines from the likes of BMW, and even FCA - the Maserati V6 in the MC20 - 600hp+.

This is the real reason for the terrible delay in the 'New' Range Rover('L460').

This car needs 600hp+ - real. The BMW V8, 'Jennifer', was going to do that - in spades - real output in 'Competition'-spec 700hp+.

No 'Jennifer', no 1996 AJ-V8, trying to wheeze past 600hp, no 'New' Range Rover.

Ingenium is their only route. Which means trying to develop one of the world's worst - ever - engines to make, genuine, at least 150hp per litre, AND, develop one of the best, and most complicated, hybrid systems, delivering around 200hp.

Good luck with that. That's taxing for even Mercedes AMG - ePerformance', BMW, FCA, etc.

The real, only news of JLR, right now, is:

a) the de facto failed/off/pulled ~£50bn IPO
b) the non-appearance of the '2021/2021MY 'All-New' Range Rover'

That's it.

'New Range Rover' is now at least 12 months late already - originally should have been launched for '2021MY'.

Oliver Zipse, the 2019- BMW CEO, effectively capsized JLR, when he took over in around July that year, and pulled the plug on the gentleman's agreements of Kruger and Speth - BMW's fantastic V8 engine, BMW four cylinder engines to replace Ingenium, BMW to give JLR its 'EDU' electric tech, lock, stock and barrel, and access to BMW platforms, for the 'New-New-Gen Jaguars'.

Not a word of that was printed in the 'global' media then or since - the event that meant the absolute end for JLR.
 

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TeslaBjorn better hurry up and get his mansion built - and paid for - from all his adoring airhead Tesla fanboys:


'EV leader' Tesla is a wasteland. The real world is Tesla, outside of possibly SoCal and the Bay Area, is roadkill.

VAG, the Germans - for example, the 'legacy/compliance' iX3 is tearing it up in China, selling more in a month than JLR does of the I-Pace globally yearly, legitimately - the Koreans and the Chinese, and latterly even the Japanese, are all smashing the fraud outfit Tesla into the ground.

It'll 'bounceback' next month - end of quarter - like clockwork, but only those with IQ <70 fall for that garbage now - and the on the payroll 'global' media, and Wall St 'analysts' - paid pushers - criminals.

Tesla Berlin is 'delayed' - as I said it would be.

Why would you open a factory making 250-500k/yr cars, when you're actually selling around 50k units a year across Europe?

Tesla is just a slightly larger version of JLR. Both are dead, and only kept alive because 'They' have complete control over everything - the Media obviously, but also govts - German/Brandenburg/Brussels/Dutch chucking €billions at the known to a child fraud thing Tesla - and of course 'The Law' - plod knows better than to go near it - or JLR - and the same of course for the Courts, and the puppets pols.

Still astonishing though to see this insane circus continue, from the car breaking Thai/Chinese guy in Norway, to the rubber-faced Loon on primetime TV - it's all pure theatre, entertainment value only - althougn, to me at least, that 'entertainment' is fast beginning to wear thin.
 

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The bank was 100% right, to say No to Mr Tesla:


- $70k, for that?!:

50685


$50k or less ID.4 GTXs, and its siblings, will run literal rings around it. The Hyundai-Kia new EV cars, likewise.

That interior looks like something from the early 80s, from eastern Europe, or Korea - Hyundai Pony.

Nyland and co. are always on about Tesla's quantum-ahead performance. 0-60 mph in US rag testing in 3.6 seconds is NOT that fast, around 4.5 seconds 0-100 km/h real.

Quarter mile is even worse.

So what's the point of Tesla? 80s Eastern Bloc interior, handles like a brick, less space inside than a $30k with subsidies ID.4, slower, far less capable as a driver's car than an off the lot bog standard X3 M, for around $65-70k with incentives.

'What's the point of Tesla?' Only retards, the insane, and criminal pushers know.
 

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Amazing what a real owner and a real boss can do:


Some years back, the notorious Nick Gibbs was breathlessly telling the world that the mighty JLR was eyeing up about-to-die Vauxhall's Ellesmere Port plant, as expansion for JLR's bursting at the seams operation across the Mersey in Halewood.

Now that it is JLR that is about to die, perhaps Moers or his bosses in Stuttgart will make a cheeky offer for JLR's next door Gaydon facilities, about to be surplus to requirements - JLR downsizing to a one-shed SVO operation - the ex-wartime airfield testtrack particularly.

'RAF Gaydon', from bombing Jerry, to V bombers, to Speth's bombed BMW-bashing plan, to the bombed multi-billion, UK taxpayer paid for Gaydon 'Campus', soon to be pushing up weeds - and new rabbit-hutch 'houses' at £750k-£1m a pop.
 

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Moers puts his finger on thee JLR problem, existential problem - completely undiscussed by the media, or 'top' industry and academic 'experts', and financial 'analysts':

'Regarding the V6, he said: “I found a concept engine that wasn’t Euro 7- capable.'

- that's JLR's problem.

AJ-V8, the 25 year old engine, is only emissions compliant if basically it doesn't turn a crank - if it was a BMW, Merc etc engine, truly observing Euro 6d, ULEV20 and so on currenly, it would be producing sub 300hp.

'Ingenium' is not far behind, in the completely obsolete, so much scrap iron stakes.

Even BMW's V8, Project Jennifer, would only have been able to be used until around 2023/4 - BMW has and had no intention of making it next stage emissions compliant, for a well over decade old engine already.

JLR has run into a brick wall - engines - and the massive spend required to make them legal and peer competitive.

Palmer's Aston was just a small version of Tata's-Speth's JLR - all window-dressing, shouting from the rooftops, backed up by next to F all.

Aston has been saved by Daimler's money, and Merc's engines, and other tech.

There's no one riding in to save JLR - giving them a crate engine to Euro 7 - and an ~£10bn new platform.

Eventually, the bulsh!t has to stop.

That's why it's so quiet from JLR - JLR-Media axis.

They can't BS, lie and contort reality to their will on this one. That's okay in the rest of Britain, where fat scum like Spaffer become cult leaders - always mixing up my 'l's with 'n's.

Doesn't work in the world of real work, and stuff that appeals to the minds of people with more than five year old mental age.
 

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An Indian helps to make the point that Indian-owned JLR is F'ed:

Euro 7 regulations could accelerate EV shift be the final end for JLR


If Nissan(/Renault) is screwed by Euro 7, how do you think that leaves JLR, and its mighty parent Tata - famous for the Nano?

Not a hope in hell.

Euro 7 is the plan of the Brussels Kommissars, and their 'They' stringpullers, to end personal mobility and freedom for 99.99% of people - stick them in tracked, controlled EV boxes at best.

The Germans, naturally, will find a way around this - hence why the British 'engineers', are actually Ingenieurs - ingenious.

Only Porsche(/VAG), BMW and Daimler can do this - because it's what makes them tick, them them.

The failed/off IPO, means JLR has to start considering actual car company things - like, 'what the F are we going to do for engines?'.

There's nothing coming over the hill from Munich-way, AJ-V8 is three-quarters of the way to the scrap yard, and Ingenium can only work if EV hybrid does the heavy lifting - and JLR is sh!t-out of real engineers, who can do that kind of stuff.

JLR was not supposed to be a functioning car company post 2021, or post 2019 - the 'Peugeot sale', etc.

Now, it's: 'F'ing hell, what the F are we going to do now?'

They can't go forwards, because that means engaging with Euro 7 - for which they have nothing - and they can't go bacwards - try to sell the company - that bridge has burned, too late, nothing to show in the sale prospectus - £50bn for a bodged 2016 'electric' F-Pace? Really?

They're stuck, literally petrified, cast in stone, - nothing happening, graveyard-quiet, moss and lichen growing everywhere.

The only option, is to ask the govt. for a bailout, That's what it will come to. ~£50bn for a clean slate, new start - that type of thing.

I'll bet the wizened grocer, Andy Street, is this minute working up the same - 'Please, Spaffer, can I have £50bn, yours, Andy(the guy who weighs less than your right leg).'

To be fair to the emaciated muppet Street, Spaffer bunged £100bn+ at his donors and cronies in the building and property firms, so why not less than half that at the West Midlands, and a few Indian billionaires?
 

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6 months versus 12 at least already, for the 'New', not 'much-hyped' at all, Range Rover:


Autocar's nauseating chutzpah means it's obviously not in the running for the Ineos account on the Grenadier.

The Aussies have given this news almost a straight bat, unlike the now near-insane once mother-country UK establishment - Heseltine's Haymarket - that treats every subject like 7 year old prep school boys in the playground in the 1950s/2020s playing Spitfires versus Messerschmitts.

INEOS Grenadier completes dynamic testing


FFS, grow up, you clowns. A council house boy, Ratcliffe, has run rings round you, without the advantage of a birth silver spoon, the old school tie, or a plummy accent, rather sheer brains, talent, and hard work - none of which you odious vermin have.
 

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So we're all the way back to late 2018/early 2019, and JLR none too subtly broadcasting: Mayday, mayday, SOS - someone please buy us:

JLR is up for partnerships with other auto companies, claims Thierry Bollore


- yeah, and they were going to 'partner' - "please take us over" - with BMW, remember.

Monsieur Total-Bollox has had to fall back on frigged quarterly figures already - 'Reimagine' already 'Unimagined', totally forgotten, memory-holed, non-personed.

The IPO must be off, so it's holding pattern, fall back on the usual quarterly nonsense - just like the other global fraud outfit, Tesla.

Why should anyone buy, sorry, 'partner' with JLR?

Because some adenoidal, Norman Wisdon tribute act from Walsall, Mat Watson, has been bunged to say The Icon is the most in-demand, Unobtainium thing ever?

Hardly. Is that it, JLR's prospectus - some Brummie car salesman fronting the £50bn campaign?

Why not have a Thai Norwegian front Tesla's $1 trillion company worth? Would make as much sense, believeability.

Bollore must now realise what he's got himself into. The distress flare signals are going up. He knows that unless someone, insane and loaded, comes in and buys JLR, it's over.

The one thing I do believe, what Bollox says, though:

'the company has been incredible in the second part of the year," Bollore further added'

- so, just like the last 5 years, post JLR's collapse and de facto bankruptcy in late 2015/early 2016, then.

Chapeau, M.Bollox, for once you have told the truth - incroyable.
 

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So another senior JLR leaves the sinking ship. After 2 years in the role Julian Thompson is quitting as Jaguars design director which will mean a real uphill struggle now for the future of the brand.
 

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Britain's leading, nay, world-beating automotive company - three letters, begins with a 'J'...


Anthony Bamford tried to buy Jaguar, off Ford - sliding doors moment - it got Tata instead:


I bet if Anthony's mate/bought puppet, Spaffer, offered JLR to Anthony now for £1, he'd run a mile - the damage done by Tata in 13 years.
 

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While Hilton Hollloway is going for The Steve Cropley Colon Memorial Award - how far can a lackey hack get his tongue up JLR's rear - someone in public life finally stands up, puts his head above the parapet, and says 'the Emperor is stark bollock naked':

INTERVIEW - Rolf Weinert, Händlerverband:
JLR fehlt eine kurz-, mittel- und langfristige Strategie



- not before bloody time - about 10 years too late.

Just shows how fake the 'buoyant' German 'sales' of JLR are, the registrations racked up each month, merely for the sake of ahwoing JLR is not dead - outside of sales to hedabangers in the UK, in the Home Counties/Yorkshire/Warks..

All those 'sales' to Hertz, Avis, Sixt etc, and giving cars to German VIPs/celebs, for nowt, to be seen driving around in, the final straw of the dead loss that is 'The Icon' - even with paid Carwow muppet telling the world that there is a one-year waiting list - is too much for Herr Weinert to stomach anymore.

Works in UK, where backbones are outlawed, and Plod is too busy chasing dangerous crims with helicopters, and the Brits only rise out of their comatose state about football(watching it) and dogs.

'
Bei vielen geht es ums Überleben. Rolf Weinert vom Verband der deutschen JLR-Vertragspartner kritisiert den Hersteller scharf'

- '180' on the pap peddled to the domestic morons 24/7/365 by the scum in the 'global' media.
 

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Jesus:

50692


- New Merc SL, versus Sandy Munroe's lift inspections telling us no one can design cars like a loon with a rug, and a background in PayPal, or JLR-Media-UK regime telling the world how awesome JLR will be in 3 years' time - perennially.

That thing above is the same guys' great-great grandfathers making the finest watch movements, or anything mechanical.

It's what they do. We do Finance, Media, Law, PR - bullsh!tting/lying/committing major Fraud/Theft, with a private school posh voice.

Let's just accept it, and move on.
 

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Dual-Ar(s)ch in Deutschland - same result - mainly long-established, family-owned firms, cut to ribbons, destroyed, by JLR's Fraud - 'invest tens of millions in our new 'CI', and we will provide 3/4 times the sales of cars - "1 million+/yr by 2021(2018 UK)"':


- they forgot to tell the German dealers that the plug was pulled on Jaguar back in 2018/19, and Land Rover hasn't a cat's chance in hell of anything electric this side of Doomsday, and the 'New' Range Rover, JLR's/LR's only real product, is delayed 1 year already, and now will not appear before 2022 - if ever - due to BMW's Zipse pulling the plug on Project Jennifer.

This will go legal - not just civil, as it is already in Germany, between JLR and the dealers - but criminal - Fraud - missold a prospectus, knowingly, of Dual Arch, and associated bollox, knowing that Jaguar was dead already, and The Plan was to flog JLR/IPO it, from late 2018 to early 2021, and scarper, and now 'JLR' is at best a 50k units/yr SVO-plus business, that can only support 5 maximum, specialist German dealerships, not unlike Aston Martin, Bentley and Rolls-Royce, meaning around 30 dealerships /family businesses, are looking at total ruin.
 

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'JLR most successful thing ever' - er, according to JLR, relayed by a hack whose payslip comes from JLR's PR contractor:


JLR is just Tesla without a rubber-faced loon frontman.

Nick Gibbs is not even a poor man's loon tweeting.

Tesla's real controllers put out a cock and bull story yesterday to cover collapsed/no real demand - thousands of cars parked up in Fremont - the next day JLR puts out a cock and bull story about Brexit, Chips and the Plandemic, 'eating their homework' - 'we'd be vying with BMW, Porsche, Daimler etc, if it wasn't for those pesky chips, mutant viruses, kids', etc.

Five year old intelligence stuff - but then their target audience/'marks' for this crap are infantilised cretins.

Take a look around JLR's(LR's) backyard, and hardcore headbanger territory - Solihull/S.Warks.

I see as many or more £100k+ Taycans running around, now, as I do 'Icons' - and most of them are self-registers/somehow associated with the factory/company.

The reason/reasons is/are bloody obvious - who but the insane would have paid £70-100k for a 4 pot diesel, and almost 5.2 metre length, QEII turning circle, JLR 'reliability', etc, etc, in the last 12-18 months?

Besides the headbangers, no one.

That's exactly why Mardell, 'His Master's Voice' Gibbs, and the whole Media and financial 'analysis' are playing up this Plug-in thing. They want idiots to believe that The Icon's numerous false starts, since Sep. 2019, have now finally ended.

They want you to believe that the Plug-in thing has finally cracked the pathetic, likely worst-ever launch, of the 'New' - near 2 years old - 'Icon'.

If that was true, then RR Sport PHEVs would be everywhere - as The Icon PHEV is of course the same car - real-world ~10 miles EV, <20 mpg non-EV fuel economy, etc.

Instead, all you see is Taycans, and stuff like the excellent plug-in BMW X5, with real-world around 40 miles EV.

If you are a rich company owner, why would you buy an ~£100k Icon PHEV, with 13% BiK, against 1/2% for a Taycan, or something like an Audi E-tron, Tesla Model X, or not have the ability to write off 100% of the value of the EV in the first year?

The Icon is just the latest lied about Saviour-product from JLR/the UK Media-Regime axis.

3 years ago, mid 2018, The Gamechanger was in the same phase - The Second Coming, about to sweep not just the Germans, but Tesla into the sea

If JLR is still alive next year, the same bilge will be given to the credulous plebs with the 'All-New Range Rover' - with its 26 year old Ford V8 engine.

The Sale failed, the IPO failed, so now it's back to BSing and doing their Comical Ali routine for each 'new', 'stunning' JLR product.

Of the two - the biggest fraud things on the plant - I prefer Tesla. At least Musk/his stand-in gives some kind of entertainment value - a gay, geek, probably mentally unwell man, pretending to bed every starlet, while being Nikola Tesla-genius as well - only 40-something moron, soy boy nerds fall for it.

JLR, is just a nagging tooth ache, never going away - no upside at all.
 
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