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Cars are silly cheap in the UK - and will crash further in the next few months:


- a very reasonable for a dealer just a grand or so above the car-buyer 'services'/thieves' prices, but still no takers in 2.5 months.

The plebs haven't got the first scooby, though, that this is the plan for their '£500k-1m+' hovels, now that 'They' have done with taking all their real, actual money and assets, when employment was 'full', and will tell them shortly what they're really worth, and were worth all along - before the 40 year long credit boom, money created by 'They' out of nothing, making UK house prices jump 15-20 times what they were prior to this 'economic miracle of home-owning prosperity', when plebs had to fund house purchasing with a deposit in a building society, and 3x the annual wage to house price was the rule.

Nothing's 'cheap' when you have no income - except the obvious coming down the line 'UBI' - which is Communism writ large for the plebs - ~£60/week from the all-giving/caring State for the masses to subsist(or not) on.
 

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I think I see a pattern developing here:

'A friend of mine has the engine check light come on in his petrol XE. No other apparent problem except he reckons the idle is a bit rough. Handbook says get it looked at ASAP, it was in for service today so he mentioned the problem. He got a call 5 hours later to say 'your engine light is on, if you want us to diagnose it it's £180 and we can fit you in in 3 weeks time'.'


- no problemo - just set up a YouTube channel, base it in, I dunno, Colorado, and call it something like 'TheFibLots' - hey presto, JLR will 'fix it' - another car, probably with the VIN plate swapped over.
 

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To be fair, JLR is world-class at one thing, fraudulent stats, so perhaps they caught the eye of a desperate elderly man from Pennsylvania, and JLR had to for once report something approaching reality in the all-important German market - outsold by Volvo ~3 times over:

50388
 

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Down just 1% - blamed on some penal colony called Wales. Did SMMT find 'sales' down the back of the couch, or JLR discover sacks of V5s at 2 o'clock in the morning?

'New car registrations decline -1.6% as Welsh ‘firebreak’ lockdown subdues demand'

'70' plates are conspicuous, by their absence, over 2 months in. Yet we're told 'the market' is basically flat. Or that some senile old p*do is adored by 200m+ Americans.

So Jaguar even with JLR self-registering, hundreds of Gamechangers given to quacks/'Heroes' by the taxpayer, still can't get above its traditional ~1% UK market share - when it was a 2/3-model company, XJ/XJS, XJ/S-type(/XF)/XK. Real is now around 0.5% - across 6/7 models - far worse than BL's 'JRT', Jaguar Rover Triumph, of the late 70s/early 80s.

Not a comment in the media, of course. 40 years ago, BL's/JRT's travails were never off the front page, and headline nightly national TV news.

No doubt it would be 'fact-checked' or Fake-news on Twitter, if someone dared to put this up. The Plod would probably class it as Hate Speech.

But, but... , Land Rover will save JLR, right? Its shining crown jewel... The most prized brand in the world, above Ferrari, LMVH's brands, etc, ...right?

Not even with all those thousands of launch cars, PLUS 'demos', 'showroom cars', 'management cars', 'pre-regs', freebies for 'VIPs' etc, can The Icon pull up the real almost no sales of Land Rovers, once JLR self-registering is taken out.

Outsold massovely - real ~3x - by Kia, for chrissake.

The Icon, and the total media promoting Land Rover/Range Rover 24/7, 'royalty', the BBC, etc, etc, all to sell real around 2,000 cars a month, ~1.5-2% market share. What a flying f*cking joke.

Like I said, I saw around 6/7 Icons out and about in Solihull/S.Warks last weekend, and only one a real purchase.

The gimps at JLR - "managers"/"engineers" - are paid, by the UK taxpayer, to drive around at weekends, with fuel by the UK taxpayer, to show the plebs how mightily successful JLR is.

They think we don't know - 99% dont, of course. But the 99% never mattered in anything.

The German premium 3, whom Jaguar/JLR was supposed to compete fully with, and then take down, have now come within spitting distance of a QUARTER of the UK market - NOT the premium sector, but the whole market.

Again, not a word on this in the media - an astonishing figure and landmark.

Or how about this - MG outselling 'crown-jewel' Jaguar? What the hell... .

The Chinese have made a massive go of 'MG' - cheap EV obviously - and also by the way, 'LDV', or 'Maxus', with their new 'V90' van now cropping up everywhere in the UK

But all we hear, 24/7, every media channel, platform, rag, award etc, is 'JLR', 'JLR', JLR' - a company with a real global share of <0.1%, and even in the UK, 1-1.5%.

It's like creepy p*do who's proclaimed to be a national leader, darling of the masses.

The media scum have overreached in both cases.
 

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Volvo officially outselling 'stunning-success'/'most successful thing ever' Land Rover(in the UK) - the scribblers will be all over this ...any minute now.

'Recharge'(BEV) XC40 is just starting, so hundreds at least to come, and Volvo is within around 6 months of starting to show its new, 2nd-gen XC90, meaning the start of 'SPA II', the electric-based platform for its large cars, so again beating always-promising/-BSing/-lying JLR to the punch, with a large, premium BEV SUV, and its sedan siblings to come within a year or so after that.

Sweden - 'walk softly, carry a big stick' ; UK - 'gob off every 5 minutes, p!ss your pants and run away'.
 

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The Swedes kicking JLR in the nuts Down Under too:

- Volvo 703, L/Rover 383 - so around 3x in reality. The XC60 probably outsold L/Rover on its own - 309 units.


What happened to all that Queen/Mother Country stuff? Truth is, no under 60 years old in Oz gives a stuff about it, and hence 'blue-blood'/'royal' Land Rover.

Aussies buy on price/value for money, and genuine reputation - Toyota, the Koreans, Asia Fords(Ranger/Everest), and some best-of-best European stuff.

It's basically the same as the US market - which leaves no room for very high price and no reliabilty JLR.

JLR is the UK, and just the Home Counties, flush Brummies, and some Yorkshire people.

The 'global' stuff is 50-60 years out of date - West coast E-types, and colonial markets for Land Rover in Africa and Australia.

(US)Ford buying Jaguar 30 years ago, never realised that, and BMW only bought Land Rover to get Mini/MINI, or even Riley, then perhaps Triumph.

Swedes always thought global - the original 'Rovers' - the Rover viking badge - whereas Export-Britain was really just the captive-market colonies - we fought a war with the US to protect our closed, imposed market with them.

When you're small, and have no Royal Navy, press gangs, Redcoats, gunboats, and so on, you have to make product that the the world wants to buy, not forced to do so at the point of a gun.

We see that now today, with Volvo, or a hundred years ago, and Swedish steel, ball bearings and so on.

The British Model was coercion, and now is propaganda - the 'global'(London/English peaking-dominated)media, 'royals' etc - not offering the best/best value for money.

The former relied on unarmed peasants, the latter on idiots, with a few bob - not exactly a great long-term strategy, as JLR and Tesla are now finding out - in spades.
 

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'The Joy of JLR' - how having an intimate relationship with a JLR can screw you over in more ways/positions than you ever thought possible - Position 1: turn mug customer/'mark' upside down, empty pockets - rinse and repeat ad infinitum:

'We noticed drops of water leaking into the passenger side from the top of the windscreen. A quick Google search revealed this to be an issue with the Evoque.

I booked it into Autoglass for remove and reseal (£200). When I arrived, the technician told me there was a 50/50 chance the windscreen would crack on removal and a replacement would be £1,000.

He also told me this is a known problem at Jaguar Land Rover caused by the silicon not bonding to the glass. He had replaced several Discovery windscreens under warranty due to this issue.

He suggested I refer this back to JLR even though it is not under their warranty.
- JLR: 'swivel'

So the car is booked into a JLR dealer in two weeks for inspection and I shall be pressing hard for a reasonable JLR contribution towards replacement. It has a full main dealer history which I hope will help with any goodwill issue.
- JLR: 'double swivel'

My view is that a bonded windscreen less than five years old should not be failing.'



- 'JLR' - aka a gold-plated BL.

But seriously... you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to realise that morale, management control, and out the door quality has gone off a cliff at Halewood, in the last few years, exponentially nosediving in the last year or so.

The workers have long since got wind that Halewood is on thin ice, seen thousands go down the road, and sense it's a case of when, not if, for closure - Joques made in China, DSport binned, etc.

It's Longbridge late 70s/early 80s all over again - but with feisty, spirited Scousers, not sounding brain-damaged Brummies - only joking - I am one.

BL's Speke was the mother of all jobs to close. JLR had better move fast, close it/move production, or it'll just become actual sabotage and so on, while the product becomes basically unsaleable - massive defects, parts missing, etc.

The original Ford Escort Halewood of the 70s/80s was similar - appalling product quality. Ford poured money and top mangement in, especially for the Jaguar X-type and then Freelander2 reboot. That's all been squandered, with Tata using that legacy for 5-10 years, and now the workers basically going amok, sensing management has gone awol, literally - jumping ship - as well as metaphorically.
 

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Something else the media is at-all-costs avoiding:

Taxis
MarqueOct-20%Oct-19%% ChangeYTD-20%YTD-19%% Change
LEVC6488.8924095.62-73.3383993.12172389.09-51.31
NISSAN811.1100.000.00626.8800.000.00
MERCEDES00.00114.380.0000.0021110.910.00
Total taxis
72​
100.00​
251​
100.00​
-71.31​
901​
100.00​
1934​
100.00​
-53.41​

How long will Geely put up with this? The factory in Coventry will be bleeding cash, around £20m/month.

Sales of black cabs have basically stopped - The Thing.

The electric van version can't compete with a real-price £15k 3.5t panel van, from desperate sellers like Vauxhall.

Surely they'll move the operation to China, maybe Malaysia, Indonesia, and so on.

Coventry, the ballyhooed 'Motor City 2.0' thing, supposedly reborn over the last decade, is about to have 'Collapse 2.0', like the 70s/80s.

Not that the media would tell you - too busy bashing into plebs' heads that The Thing will kill them all, unless they lose all their jobs, income, their purpose in life, and just toddle off and die - 'to save the NHS, and Our worked-to-death Heroes'.
 

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No Bond flick, no Hollywood/Pinewood brainwashing - all Russian gangsters drive Range Rovers, Ruskies adore English luxury goods - real cars surge, whilst JLR becomes irrelevant:

50390
50391



The Chinese are making massive inroads - Geely, Chery, FAW - while the likes of high-profile Porsche suffer from puppet-Merkel's Russian-bashing, and hold up on Nordstream II.

Volvo, arguably Chinese too, is now comfortably officially outselling JLR in Russia - 2/3:1 in reality.

While clowns like Spaffer pick fights with Russia, whilst boozing, coking up on 'Russian' oligarchs' tabs - I'm sure they want nothing in return - for the videos, photos... - British products suffer, and China takes advantage, of the clownery/meltdown in The West.

Jaguar's plainly gone in Russia. The pretence of 'global' JLR, global Jaguar has to end.
 

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Only reported by ONE outlet, in the entire world - if JLR goes bust, and no one reports it, did it go bust?

S&P downgrades Tata Motors[JLR actually] outlook to negative from stable


- the Indian rag is trying to blame The Thing.

JLR's 'bounce-back' October sales were disastrous - even by JLR standards.

Speth's 'luck' seems to have deserted the French slaphead - or the beancounters in the national sales companies and UK HQ are panicking over such a monumental, chronic fraud, and being left holding baby - best to tweak those figures to make them look slightly less ridiculous/in yer face fraudulent.

A Pedo guy/Camel toe 'victory'/coup will just hasten JLR's demise - something that the IQ 160+ Brahmin crewe in Bombay don't seem to have grasped - on top of the planned demolition of UK's 40 year Fake/Credit out of thin air economy, with The City/Crown's Unilateral Declaration of Independence, from 70 million useless eaters, aka 'Brexit' - all to be blamed on The Thing - its purpose + the US coup.

Selling tens, hundreds of thousands of 10-15 mpg, six and eight cylinder, 3 ton SUVs in the US and UK, is not going to happen, given the two major events above.

Bollore has been in the job now for 2 months, and still not a single sign of him.

Does he exist? Has he lost control of his bowels, realising what he's stepped into?
 

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Fraud - the Yanks are just catching up with the masters.

The stateJLR/the media's 'truth':

'To power the rear axle, there’s a 15kWh battery packaged under the seat so as not to encroach on standard boot or rear-seat space and it is claimed to deliver up to 43 miles of range on a full charge.'


The reality for doltish sap cretins, who like 5 yr olds believe the media and their govt:

'The actual range of EV (stated to be 32 when fully charged) is probably more like 18-20.'


- so half or less of that certified by the DfT's VCA.

The sap is wrong. JLR/VCA have put 32g CO2/km and 43 miles on this fraudulent monstrosity.

Anyone with half a brain could work out that 15 kWh - presumably gross - around 10/11 kWh available, would not move an ~2.3 tonne brick more than the end of the road, unless driven like Miss Daisy - real range around 15 miles, ~10 in proper winter - real CO2 around 75g/km - so killing the low-low BiK thing - the whole point of this nonsense.

Total fraud. But that's been JLR's purpose in life since the Indians bought it.

When the system is a fraud - 'HM'.gov, the 'Law', Plod, the media scum of course, outfits like JLR lie and cheat with absolute impunity, and immunity from having their collars felt, ever.

That's what we used to call a totalitarian tyrannical nightmare sh!thole, the Soviet Union and the like, or a warmer third world, utterly corrupt banana republic, Welcome to the UK. Welcome to the US - 'Leaders of the FREE World'.
 

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A Jag - thuggish but svelte - a modern Mk X/420G:
50392

Not a Jag - the bastard offspring of an XXL Mondeo and a Jensen Interceptor - Callum's dog's dinner of his life's work- Ford - and teenage dream car:

50393
 

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Just when you think JLR can't go any lower, and you've seen it all before - Bollore: hold my beer!:

Jaguar was down 'only' 27.3% in Germany last month(October) - bad, but not quite as bad as seen in other markets, like Sweden and so on(see above on this thread) - where Jaguar's sales have basically come to a halt.

Jaguar avoided the 'honour' of being the worst-preforming brand of all in Germany last month - Mazda, with a fall of 38.6% - or did it?

Let's look at the individual model registrations:

ModellreiheAnzahlAnteil
in %
Veränd. gegenüber
Oktober 2019
in %

JAGUAR XE250.1-13.8
JAGUAR XF30.0-89.3
JAGUAR XJ--X
JAGUAR I-PACE580.1-31.8
JAGUAR E-PACE1420.5-43.2
JAGUAR F-PACE590.2-54.6

- okay, so far, so 'Jaguar' - bad/very bad(XF), but not total, utter collapse - but what's this?:

JAGUAR F-TYPE1254.6247.2


- wowzers!

Firstly, if taken at face value, the F-type outsold the I-Pace, F-Pace and XF combined.

Secondly, a car that's now in its 9th year, itself a redo of the 2005 XK, and up against pearls like the '992' 911, in the enemy's backyard, is suddenly selling like a Ford Focus.

Thirdly, if you believe the above two, you're either 4 yrs old, or need to see about getting a carer - for senile dementia.

Jaguar's real sales in Germany, last monh, collapsed at least as much as Sweden and co. - if not worse - down at least ~two-thirds.

Those '125 sales' of the F-type were gifts, courtesy of the UK taxpayer, to rental companies - Avis, Hertz, Sixt and co. - probably ~80% off rrp, just a nominal amount, to protect JLR/JLR GmbH from criminal charges of dumping/bribery.

Germany is too big, too important, too high profile for JLR to not try to frig the sales figures from there every month.

The XF is the real state of play of Jaguar in Europe's now by-far biggest, and most important market - the only one that matters really to JLR, outside of the completely friggable, at will, UK, US and China markets - where it's self-registering and self-reporting - so, utterly fake.

Is this why Bollore is nowhere to be seen? Hiding, like Spaffer in a fridge, or like John Major on Black Wednesday in the bogs?

Come out, come out, you lily-livered bastard, and face the music - the one you're being paid ~£10m/yr, from broke UK taxpayers, for.

If it's too much for you, F off back to France, but leave the money behind.
 

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Land Rover's real around 50-60% collapse in Germany last month was almost certainly saved mainly by the same method - dumping a couple of hundred unsellable DiscoSports on to rental companies:

LAND ROVER DEFENDER2600.9X
LAND ROVER DISCOVERY360.1-53.8
LAND ROVER DISCOVERY SPORT2460.943.9
LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER980.3-35.1
LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER EVOQUE2971.1-49.1
LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER SPORT1700.6-39.7
LAND ROVER RANGE ROVER VELAR1380.5-28.5

- the rest, to get to an official fall of just 14.7%, was dumping a similar number of 'Icon's on dealers, as 'demos', 'showroom cars', and 'management/dealer principal cars' - i.e. up to €100k, 4-pot Ingenium, dangerous, non-working toys, that no one outside of The Home Counties, Warks. and Yorkshire would touch with a bargepole, or without a lobotomy.
 

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Ten days - obviously not enough for JLR's 40,000 headcount to add up single digit sales figures and report October:


Volvo et al reported last week. JLR seems shy to do so - because they were so appalling - and exposing the massive flop of 'The Icon' of course.

Maybe Bollore's waiting for a few tens of thousands of V5cs to be found in the back of a van, all amazingly for JLRs, nearly 2 weeks later, and flip the result from disaster to 'stunning success' - where would he get that idea from?

Feels time for another 'JLR PR Spectacular' - like The Heist and so on. How about bumping off Brenda, and putting Tampon Guy on the throne, and he's driven to the coronation in a 4-pot diesel Icon?
 

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You don't say:

'This would be huge change for the brand, which has managed to retain its independent identity during a tumultuous 50 years. It would also raise a question mark over the future size of Jaguar as a brand and its range of models.'


- just part of the obvious now campaign to soften up the plebs, funders of JLR/Tata, to the "news' that Jaguar is no more - which of course happened 5 years ago, with the complete flop of 'New Gen' - 'British Baddies', a black jaguar prowling around etc - remember that bollox?

Speth hopped it, avoiding grasping the nettle, and announcing the obvious/5 yrs old news.

The clown fallguy, Bollore, must have seen this coming - if he didn't, he's not so much CEO material, as doubtful to be trusted with a toiet cleaning brush.

This is the clowns in Bombay thinking they can save the long-sunk JLR, keep it afloat, by chopping off the Jaguar limbs, and pressing on.

A child knows the body is diseased, rigor mortis set in, not an odd limb or two - L/Rover is the root of JLR's woes.

Bollore's 'Great Strategic Plan/Review' is then just to admit what's been obvious for years - Jaguar is dead.

His instruction from the Bombay buffoons will be the same - get JLR sold, by pretending L/Rover/R/Rover is going great guns, and roping in some idiot Chinese buyer.

Hence the push to make 'The Icon' the Creepy Joe of the car world - '-elect' for stunning success, every award under the sun etc, when reality says it's the biggest flop and fraud ever - like Pedo Guy.

Bollore, you're just another Speth - 2nd/3rd rate, way out of your depth, unable, without the balls, to make the real and only decision - close down JLR, and try to find a buyer for ~1/10th of it - the >£150k boutique business, which has been obvious as JLR's future - at best - for years.
 

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Will 'Chewy' or 'Abu Dhabi Dude' break it to the actual owners on ipaceforums that they're prize chumps, now holding the biggest baby ever, a 5,000 lb 'Gamechanger' whose market worth is about to go below its weight?

Saw one on Sunday, solid white - 'employee special' - boy did it look forlorn, and odd, the modern-day Landcrab, or landwhale.

Who the hell is going to take a 2/3 yr old I-Pace for what these idiot, gulled owners think it's worth, ~£40k, when BMW shows the 'iNext/iX' tomorrow, a car with near double the real-word range, much better, typical BMW handling, faster, much more spacious, for similar money, etc, etc?

Answer - no one, but UK headbangers - ~1,000 genuine a year - hence why Holloway is dropping massive hints that the I-Pace is over - won't be replaced, is an embarrassment, which Bollore's JLR wishes would just go away.

Any other country, even the USSA, would have an inquiry, criminal investigation into the whole I-Pace thing - the £billions of UK taxpayer money diverted under its cover to the billionaires in Bombay, via Bhattacharyya's WMG, and by the dividends taken out of a completely bust company, JLR, which used The Gamechanger to tell mugs how awesome it was doing, hence legitimising this cash larceny extraction.

Speth should be hauled back from his Caribbean beach, and hauled metaphorically and literally over the coals, the gimp who nominally presided over all this criminality, to explain whether he was part of it, or, more likely, just a very well-paid dupe, clown figurehead, brought in to to make JLR look like a serious carmaker and engineering business - 'he's from BMW, don't you know' - while the real 'work' was done by Tata and its bagman, 'Lord' Bhattacharyya, taking UK taxpayers for every penny, via 'research', and telling the pleb morons with maximum chutzpah: 'we saved the UK car industry - you ungrateful English wretches - bow down to your new Indian Raj masters'.

F*ck that. Like the US, time to say enough, and call out these criminal clowns and all their fraud, and bring the whole f*cking thing down if necessary - 'Queenie', the 'Royals', the fawning, complicit Media, bent as a nine bob note Plod, and yes, the rotted to the core, unsaveable 2008-2020 JLR, and make it over into an Aston Martin type company - high price/low volume.
 

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Real EV means going back to 80s car design - low front end, low scuttle height - no need for towering bonnet for pedestrian regs., hitting hard points on engine underneath - all about maximising internal space, airiness, lightness, and low Cd, but especially front end area - we've gone back 40 years - hurrah. The anti-I-Pace - massive, heavy car, huge footprint for tiny internal space, claustrophobic, hemmed-in interior - required to try and bring Cd and frontal area down, bodging a very large, dated from 20 years ago ICE platform:
50394

The I-Pace now seems clearly an anachronism, a car not massively ahead of its time, the pack, but massively out of time, a ridiculous footnote in the EV story.

BMW's whole 'i' thing was fatally hindered by the clown BMW AG put in charge of it - the 'affirmative action' clot Robertson, only hired to show that BMW regarded MINI as British - windowdressing.

This clown squandered BMW's genuine massive lead in EV ten years ago. It's taken them 10 years to undo the damage this pillock caused. BMW will show that 'EV' is just another engineering challenge, and hence they will 'stun' the world with what's possible, just as they've done with their engines since WWI, and cars since the 70s.

BMW was never going to partner with or buy JLR. Why would they? 'To get JLR's 4x4 tech'? 'To get The Gamechanger'?

The media have run out of lies to tell.
 

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And now we know why Tata/the Media were so desperate to bounce BMW into buying/taking responsibility for JLR - the I-Pace was so appalling - known by JLR by early 2018 at the latest - and BMW's then incipient EV tech/cars so good.

50395


Speth would have known from ex-colleagues, the industry grapevine, that BMW's stuff was excellent, and so, with the very tentative sale to PSA fallen through by early 2019 - if it ever was a thing - Tata loaded all bets on 'The BMW thing' - get Speth to work his contacts, and the media to ladle on the 'partnership of equals thing', with JLR a great prize to land - 'BMW would be crazy not to', etc.

Didn't work.

Instead, the owners, the Quandts, fired the CEO who was not making it plain to Speth and the media scum that BMW had no intention of going anywhere near JLR - Krueger sacked - and the new guy, Zipse, never mentioning or referring to JLR or anything about it once.

Why the hell would he? Look what they had, the iX and co., just waiting to be finally developed and launched.

The iX makes a mockery of not just the 2016, bodged-F-Pace I-Pace, but also the I-Pace with a boot 'eXJ', and sister car 'Road Rover', now both canned - were back in late 2018/early 2019 - for fairly obvious reasons.

The iX to the I-Pace/eXJ/Road Rover is like a 2018 X5 to a P38a Range Rover - 20/20+ years difference/lagging.

It's that stark, and why Bollore, and now his media handmaidens, are making it plain that the I-PAce is dead, and so of course is 'eXJ', and 'Road Rover' - and of course 'Electric Jaguar' Castle Brom, by the way.

Now Tata can hand that £500m back, as they won't be using it. Did Mayhem provide a personal guarantee to the taxpayer? Sequester the f'er's assets, the treasonous bitch.

It's all unravelling at a rate of knots - the massive crime/crimes of the last 12 years, the 40 year crime of the money out of thin air 'Booming UK Economy', which all has to be collapsed and blamed on The Thing - so that the actual culprits don't swing.
 
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