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The man who'll sort out the JLR Thing:

'Back in 2015 Street, then the managing director of John Lewis, was gushing about Birmingham’s prospects. He reckoned the city was enjoying an economic revival, after being neglected too long by politicians who focused on London or the North.

Pledging that the new John Lewis store would boost the economy, Street declared:
Let’s be clear, manufacturing is a success story here now. Jaguar Land Rover is an incredible success story. We could have been like Detroit – the fact is this is nothing like Detroit, this is an economic revival.
There will be a Harvard business case about the revival and the change in the economy here
.”'

- [email protected]

Speth has gone, Spaffer's heading for the funny farm, like his beloved pater put his mater, and Street is making a bee line for the scrapheap - even the Tories can't stick by this deluded, thinks B'ham is the B'ham of his youth - King Edwards VI Public School, Edgbaston etc - not the sub-, sub-Detroit, no point whatsoever to its existence sh!theap it has been since the early 1980s for the majority of its inhabitants, clown.

So JLR is adrift, zombie state, no one in public life or power of any kind to do what's required.
 

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If the official (lies) are this bad, against the Germans and Volvo, all making out like bandits in China, typified by Mercedes for comparison below, imagine how bad it really is - subtracting I would say around 25,000 fake sales in those three months, UK self-registers, cheap-cheap lease cars to employees/families/bog cleaners, cars given away to VIPs, rental and lease, NHS, FCO, Whitehall, and every other tactic/fraud used by Speth, Glover, new CFO and PR man Hallett to boost them:

Merc's Q2(April to June) 2020, and H1(Jan to Jun) 2020

Retail-Absatz von Mercedes-Benz Cars & Vans im Überblick

2. Quartal 2020Veränd.

in %
1. Halbjahr

2020
Veränd.

in %
Mercedes-Benz*457.711-20,2935.089-17,6
smart4.238-87,310.101-83,3
Mercedes-Benz Cars461.949-23,9945.190-20,9
Mercedes-Benz Vans (Gewerbliche Modelle)61.358-34,3125.946-25,6
Mercedes-Benz Cars & Vans**523.307///1.071.136///
Pkw-Absatz der Marke Mercedes-Benz in den Regionen/Märkten
Europa124.527-46,5313.490-31,5
– davon Deutschland41.835-45,5106.167-27,9
Asien/Pazifik259.404+8,9458.253-4,2
– davon China207.107+21,6346.067+0,4
Nordamerika68.037-24,7146.538-16,0
– davon USA59.461-22,0127.207-13,7

'Jaguar Land Rover Q1FY21[Apr-Jun 2020] retails decline 42% on covid impact'


- over twice Mercedes cars' fall(-20.2%).

'With retails of 55,280 units, Land Rover sports utility vehicles contributed almost 75% of total JLR sales for the quarter, although the volumes were down 38% YoY. The Jaguar sales were at 18,787 units, down 53% YoY, for the June quarter'


- what happened to 'The China Surge', 'The Bounce Back', 'JLR Rebounds' etc, so prominent less than six months ago?

They've all suffered The Thing, not just JLR, so why has JLR not had the genuine surge Mercedes, Audi, BMW and Volvo have all seen and enjoyed in China since reopening, so that their Q2(calendar) figures there are at all-time record levels?

Could it be that 'The China Surge' back end of 2019 and start of 2020, pre-The Thing, for JLR, was also bullsh!t, a lie, fraud?

Of course it was. It was simply cover for JLR, Speth, the legging it away former CFO, Glover, and of course Bombay Tata, to say that JLR had bounced back, amazingly, to bumper profitability, when everyone else in the industry was ailing already, on the back of the cock and bull China story, to try once again to get JLR sold to some fool. That's all it was, and painfully obvious, and a criminal fraud. Where's Plod? Taking the knee, or the p!ss?
I estimate JLR's real sales in Q2(calendar) globally were around 50,000.

JLR is trying to make out that it is 'bouncing back', as shown by its latest June figures:

'JLR’s global retails in June stood at 35,334 units, down 25% YoY. That included Land Rover sales of 26,621 units (down 17% YoY) and 8,713 units of the Jaguar sedans, which saw a dip of 42% YoY.'

compare that to Volvo:

June January-June
20192020Change20192020Change
Europe30,23428,277-6.5%174,398123,035-29.5%
China13,23015,10514.1%67,74165,741-3.0%
US9,93410,3854.5%50,12043,225-13.7%
Other9,3697,716-17.6%48,56737,931-21.9%
Total62,77561,483-2.1%340,826269,962-20.8%

- 2.1% plays JLR-official(lies) -25%.

or compare to Mercedes:

'The company[JLR] reported that China is leading its recovery as the retail sales were down only 2.5% YoY for the June quarter.'

Mercedes China sales Q2(calendar), see table above - +21.6% YoY.

- -2.5% JLR-official plays +21.6%.

When do the bailiffs go in?
 

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But car dealers posing as Joe Public have been saying constantly on the Pistonheads 'Corona/prices' thread that prices of Range Rovers were going up a £500 to a grand a week, due to huge demand, fuelled by bounce-back loans etc. Were they lying?:

'Where is this info from? My dealer is taking orders and offering huge discounts at the moment. The new car[L405's successor] is nowhere near production ready and won't be seen until end of 2021'


So, as if anyone with a brain didn't know, desperate people tend to lie, car dealers and their salesmen, lying through their teeth, as I said, plus the usual paid JLR shills, 'guerilla marketing', going on a forum read by many not very bright saps, hoping they can hold back the collapse in car prices, especially for £70-100k+, huge, <20 mpg SUVs, with £2,000+ VED.

Desperate stuff by lease companies, vested interest individuals, paid shills/pushers, trying to clear huge stocks of 'The Faberge Egg', £100k or more Full-fats, by saying they're on run-out - 'get them before they're all gone' - cars which have a real value now of at most half of their rrp, with more and more 0% BiK EV SUVs about, diesel a complete no-no, and huge SUVs anti-social:

'this information was confirmed by a lease company this morning and then verified by RR Northampton dealership with a phone call this afternoon
if you got one in today it will be last off line'


- unless of course 'craig7L' really is 'in the know', with JLR going tits up, and hence no more Full-fats, no more JLRs.
 

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JLR only seems to operate at weekends, late Saturday/early Sunday specifically, when the major work of PR man Hallett briefing selected media chums is done:

'Jaguar’s new flagship electric model will not be launched until October next year'


- not news of course. The appearance in Arjeplog in March was just PR for Jaguar/JLR not being dead, and to give cover for the £500m bung to Tata - 'look, it's real after all'.

The EQS, Taycan Turismo, e-tron GT, Lucid Air and BMW's iNext are all launching before the eXJ then - not that that will ever happen.

Project Birch has also gone quiet. JLR, like Spaffer's (non-)administration, the cops, the whole country, seems adrift.
 

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Where did all the 'Icons' go?

A month or so ago, the roads around Solihull and south Warwickshire were awash with Duffenders - massive hit, right?

Now, nada.

Are they all in the workshop, or... , were 99.9% of them JLR cars, and JLR employees, driving around to make it look like a huge hit?

Course they were. JLR knew the Icon was a huge, bowel-evacuating flop, 9 months on from launch, so kidded on the opposite, with physical evidence to prove it - they were everywhere, and in every rag and TV bulletin.

Now, it's as if it all never happened, and another huge waste of taxpayer money, launching a giant diesel SUV when the last thing the market wanted was giant diesel SUVs, especially ones 1.5-2 times overpriced, and 'blessed' with Ingenium.

No sign of Speth either.
 

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Even an 'expert' begins possibly to smell a rat:

'Automotive expert Dr Charles Tennant, a former chief engineer at Land Rover who also held senior roles at Tata Technologies and WMG at the University of Warwick, told CoventryLive : "In July 2019 Jaguar Land Rover announced to much fanfare £1 billion of investment to build a range of electric cars at its Castle Bromwich factory in Birmingham.

"The unions and workforce of 2,700 at the plant were understandably delighted especially after job losses of 6,000 in recent years.

"Now a year on and Castle Bromwich remains idle with its workforce on furlough, due to slumping sales of their Jaguar XE and XF saloon cars leaving dealers with stockpiles of cars."

"But it still sounds very ominous to me, and I do worry about the fortunes of the Jaguar brand moving forward."'



A blind man with no sense of smell knew donkey's years ago that JLR and its abetter HM.Gov were a nest of super-sized rats.

Any other country would be calling for/doing prosecutions at this stage, not 'I do worry' pathetic garbage.
 

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Gee, I wonder why JLR has let it be known now de facto that the rear overhang, lowered I-Pace, 2018/19 originally binned, resurrected in March to show Jag/JLR was not dead, and cover for Mayhem's £500m bung to Tata, 'Bentley-fighter/killer', new XJ/eXJ, is now absolutely dead - it's a total mystery:

50191



- 700 km WLTP, real-world double the range of the I-Pace/rear overhang, lowered I-Pace 'eXJ', at around 350-400 miles, 350 kW charging, and a lower price than the ~£150k for the 'Bentley-fighter' JLR would have asked, might have something to do with it.

In other words, another Dyson EV - 9/10ths fake, PR and public money hoovering up exercise - pardon the pun - and 1/10th genuine, massively off the pace, 5+ years out of date car programme.

With Speth metaphorically and now literally out the door, expect more and more of these 'surprise', 'shocking' 'revelations', dripped into the press by Hallett, as the new broom and regime heaps all the sins of JLR on the past.

Won't work. The flood of EVs and top PHEVs, like the new S-Class and its 100 km EV range, plus stuff like the Bronco and Bronco Sport today showing how ridiculous and overpriced JLR's Duffender and Evoque/Sport are, will make even the most dim realise it's all over.
 

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The 'I-con(you)' goes the same way as the I-Pace(on you) - media acclamation/punter realisation they're being played for mugs:


The headbangers will still buy their 'new' Defender - rebodied Disco5 - like they bought 'The Gamechanger' - rebodied F-Pace/L405/X350.

The new Bronco is genuinely stunning, gamechanging, and iconic, ...and rapturously received. And, the Bronco Sport makes the Evoque/DSport look out of a different age - when airheads paid twice as much for an obsolete Ford with the world's worst engine.

No wonder there's not a peep from Speth.

All British car ventures end the same way - twice the price, half the car, senior management/owners, management consultants and auditors making out like bandits. Same goes for British business generally, of course.

It happens because there is no fear of the law for these people, classes in UK, of being banged up for their wanton criminal behaviour, as is invariably the case with the 'collapses' of these 'businesses'.

'Lessons were learned' with the collapse of MG Rover 15 years ago, ...but they weren't of course - because no one went to jail - the looters, auditors or anyone in authority with legally responsible oversight.

So, 'British Business' continues to be a vehicle, now worldwide, for the lowliest vermin to loot, steal, get gongs, and walk away scot free.

Hence why we have no industry, and why we have more Sirs, Lords, peers, etc than at the height of the Empire.
 

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As Spaffer would say: 'engineering, engineering, engineering':


- there's already far more Ford Rangers sold in the UK, for personal/'posh' transport, than Disco5s.

An independent front suspension version, like the new G-Class of course, at around 60% of the price of a Disco5/Duffender, would destroy Land Rover/JLR.

JLR's only forward business plan is full-fats at £150k+, as I've said.
 

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Ford, Moray Callum out of his brother?, taking the absolute p!ss out of the company they ploughed billions into and lost, only to see it lauded and hyped to high heaven for a decade when under Indian ownership, who didn't spend a rupee on it:

50193


- couldn't look more Land Rover if it tried - which Ford/Callum did.

'Bronco' is basically the new, real Land Rover. - cutsie softroader and hardcore offroader.

Sweet justice, after 30 years of Ford's disastrous involvement with Jag and Land Rover.
 

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'A supercharged 5.0-litre petrol V8 in two states of tune and a 3.0-litre petrol straight-six remain in both the Range Rover and Range Rover Sport,'


- confirmation of no V8 from BMW, the since 2016 much touted 'Project Jennifer', from 'The BMW-JLR Partnership'.

Also confirms of course no Ingenium V8 - petrol or diesel - which was also touted by the media from way back in 2013 - 'Ingenium is modular, 6s, a V8 and three cylinders coming to join the known about 4-cylinder'.

Also confirms that JLR will - if it exists - be making the V8 petrol in Wolverhampton, after Ford Bridgend closes in a few months, an engine that dates back to 1996, so hitting its silver anniversary.

It has no choice - no Jennifer, and no new engine of its own.

To make it ULEV/Euro 6 compliant, its real top output is around 480hp, against all the competition's 700hp+, from their 4 to 4.4.litre V8s, or flat 6 in the case of Porsche.

An incredible state of affairs - still producing, having to rely on an ancient engine, having failed to get VW/BMW's engines 7 years ago, failed to make their own replacement with £1 billion of UK taxpayer money, and now around a third off the literal pace, in power, torque, acceleration and top speed, even worse for fuel consumption, CO2, and real emissions - when not measured by the free-passing EPA or UK DfT.

But it gets worse:

'The introduction of 48V electrical hardware also helps make the new[Ingenium I6 diesel] engine RDE2-compliant. It’s expected to be added to the new Land Rover Defender in the coming months and could be the 4x4’s sole engine option in the US.'

- why would you do that?! Why would you utterly hamstring a car in the US with diesel, and why would you not at least offer a petrol also?

The conclusion must be that JLR knows that:

- the V8 petrol - 25 years old AJ-V8 - will not really pass 'LEV III', 'ULEV20', or whatever it would have to in the States, plus, an ancient 5-litre supercharged V8 hauling a 6,000 lb plus brick SUV with the frontal area of Texas, would give suckered owners real consumption of single digit mpg(US), in anything other than hypermiling driving style. So it won't/wouldn't fly.

- the PHEV system in the Full-fat and RRSport can't be put in the Duffender, as, because as I've already said, a 2-litre, 4 pot Ingenium driving an 8,000 lb gross weight vehicle, could be a tad dangerous

- but that still leaves the obvious choice for the Duffender in the US market, the Ingenium I6 petrol, relatively still brand new, launched just a couple of years back, so why isn't it going in it? Again, it's because it's terrible, real power way down on claimed, and fuel consumption no better, probably worse than the AJ-V8 with blanking plates V6, territory of around 0-60 mph in barely 7 secs., real around 15 mpg(US), and I bet lots of problems with this inhouse engine - US more litigious - would not stand for that crap, unlike patriotic UK buyers.

No wonder Autocar has slipped out this news rather quietly.
 

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Hard to keep up with all this Stunning Success:

'Scores of DHL Automotive agency warehouse workers on the firm's contract with Jaguar Land Rover have been 'informed their furlough pay will end this month'.'


- these are NOT the 2,200 DHL bods being sacked, announced only last week, as, due to UK's sub-Victorian work casualisation and exploitation, neo serfdom of the last 40 years, these are agency-employed workers, who then work for DHL, who then work for JLR, which works for a couple of dozen shysters in Bombay.

And we wonder why the cost of everything is so high in the UK - every c*** and his wife is skimming, creaming, looting off the top, from a real wealth, from genuine value-adding, real industry, diminishing by the hour, around a tenth of what it was in the 1970s, but having to support around ten times the number of 'professionals', 'consultants', 'service providers', 'outsourcing experts', etc, all requiring, demanding minimum £100k/yr basic, £1million/yr basic for the owners/directors of even tinpot affairs like Rapier Employment, and hence a totally collapsed system, that needed covering with The Thing, lest some of these scum have their necks stretched.

JLR/Tata were just at the top of this pile, this pile of lowlife vermin, only interesting in getting rich personally, for the least/zero effort, in the quickest time, and all, always in UK, ultimately on the dime of the taxpayer, public money - the only thing keeping JLR afloat for the last 12 years - and tax paying in UK is only for plebs - so double blow - sh!t/no jobs, and having to support the scum who created and make out like bandits on this neo-feudal situation, in a country that tells the world every 5 mins. how advanced and progressive it is, and how 'backward'/'authoritarian' countries must copy it, or be bonmbed back to the stone age - i.e. a bankers' paradise.
 

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Confirmation that JLR's Jurassic V8 is putting out real around 450hp, in 'top' spec, due to particulate filter, and trying to make it do more than 10 mpg(US) at anything over idle:

'Of the supercharged V-8s, the one found in the 2021 Jaguar F-type R coupe is a particularly sonorous example. There's the burbling and cracking soundtrack that Jaguar introduced when they launched the F-type in 2014. But now there's 575 horsepower and, thanks to the power and traction of all-wheel drive, a 3.5-second run to 60 mph (that's 0.1 second quicker than a Shelby GT500).'


- the scummy US rag hack knows that this a joke for an all-wheel drive 'sports car' and claimed 567PS, so covers it up by relating it to some 2-ton Yank iron, rather than say a 'base' 911, that will do 0-60 in US rag testing terms in around 3 seconds, for a lot less money too.

Awful car:

'Perceived ride and handling improvements aside, the F-type failed to achieve any meaningful performance improvements as a result of its various tweaks and upgrades. A trip to the test track returned performance numbers that were almost identical to those we recorded in an F-type R in 2015. Skidpad grip is strong at 1.0 g, but a 1.0-g car isn't as astonishing as it used to be; a 911 can pull 1.08 g.'

And, the no doubt thoroughly p!ssed off, possibly actively sabotaging workforce at Castle Brom, knowing they're just weeks away from some form of chop, are turning out even worse trash than usual now:

'There were also a few maladies that befell this particular F-type. The rear spoiler wouldn't deploy on command, though it did stand at attention when the car was traveling at high speed. The door handles, which are designed to lay flush with the door panel when not in use, refused to retract into their shells even when the car was parked and locked.'

- when even your 'fine-toothcombed' press cars are this sh!t, you know the whole company is in meltdown, 'couldn't give a toss' everywhere, knowing it's all over bar the shouting.
 

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Looks like Street is finally panicking, realising the enormity of the situation, MG Rover(2005) x10 on his watch :


He looks so haggard and old, like he hasn't slept for months. My heart bleeds.

The clown should be nowhere near power, but seemingly is now the 'point man' for the JLR crisis - Spaffer literally barking mad, shouting his head off, and Speth legged it long ago, and Tata paying money to hacks and analysts to write any old crap about Tata Motors/JLR, and its 'cash mountain'.

So, Street is the best we've got. Oh dear.

Even Autocar seems to have thrown the towel in.

If I was the Chinese I'd rub salt in the wounds by buying JLR, giving the greedy, desperate Tata an unrefusable £5 billion for it, and then, bit like Spaffer with his burning £50 notes in front of homeless people, I'd shut it down.

If I'm thinking it, someone's thinking it - find the weakness and exploit it - Tata's desperate need for cash, to save Sons, and their short-sighted greed, to get at the real enemy, the British 'elites', still thinking it's the 1850s, ordering the yellow man around. Make them come into the 20th century finally.
 

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...And better still, the Chinese don't close JLR down immediately, they simply tell the truth of the situation:

  • JLR was a fraud operation, top to bottom, no 'cash mountain'
  • unaccountable billions, tens of billions of booked sales revenues - dwarfing Enron, Autonomy, Carillion etc
  • auditors colluded at highest levels, senior partners to CEO/CFO, all UK Big 4 involved
  • no sign of theft, re the 2017 Heist
  • payments uncovered to journalists, black book on 'favoured journalists' receiving largest sums
  • testing of all current JLR vehicles uncovered lack of emissions compliance
  • also systematic understating of CO2 and NOx, and overstating of mpg, and EV/PHEV range
  • hence evidence of systematic, prolonged collusion with UK authorities, watchdogs
  • systematic lack of safety critical recalls, again by UK authorities
  • suspected collusion with UK law enforcement in the 2017 Heist
  • £billions awarded to Tata front WMG for 'JLR research'
  • payments to members of Royal Family for promoting JLR products
  • titles, peerages, knighthoods, fellowships of Royal Society etc, multiple awards from the press/media, to cover up this at highest-level state-endorsed and participated in mass looting of UK taxpayer money, for foreign citizens
  • hence, abbetting theft, and treason by senior UK officials and UK govt. ministers, including the prime minister(s)
'And that's why we are having to close it down - it was gone, destroyed, completely looted, unable to be brought back even with almost limitless money, as the general industry is 10-15 years ahead, which cannot be caught back.'

'As a result, we are sending a full dossier to the British authorities, who we are sure will be as anxious as we are to get to the bottom of this, and bring all the perpetrators to justice, however high and powerful, swiftly.'

I'd love to see the expression on Dick of the Yard's and Spaffer's face when the Chinese ambassador presents them with the file.
 

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Advertising/having to advertise The Icon already:

50197


Evoque flew off the shelves in 2011-2015 without any of this.

NHS ordering 50,000 in 3, 2, 1, ... .
 

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What JLR wouldn't have given for this:

50198

50199


- it might have allowed the Duffender, LWB Full-fat, Gamechanger to be used in multi-storeys.
 

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JLR-the-PR-company hit the brick wall of the reality of current, genuine world-beating product development, exemplified by the about to launch new S-Class(and its sister EV EQS):

'"Allein die Head-Unit beinhaltet rund 30 Millionen Zeilen Softwarecode wegen der weit über 1000 Funktionen des Systems", sagt Monteiro.'


- that's part of the reason eXJ(lowered, rear overhang I-Pace) was pulled just before its planned launch in late 2018/early 2019, when JLR became aware of the full details of the Taycan, and the more important 'W223' S-Class/EQS.

It would have been like launching an Allegro a year or so before the Golf 8.

As I said, even Cropley, Clarkson, Liebeman and Tata salesman Charles Windsor couldn't have swung that.

Just saying 'world-beating' and 'stunning success' every five seconds, as is 'the strategy' of UK, its higher-ups, from boardroom to No.10, doesn't cut it anymore, not even with an increasing minority of ordinary tele-watching, newspaper-reading Brits.
 

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What JLR is or rather was up against - from the excellent 'Jesmb.de' site:

'Ende 2021 ist es soweit, dann bringt Mercedes-Benz mit dem EQS den ersten Vertreter der völlig neuen Elektroplattform EVA2 mit einer Reichweite von über 700 km nach WLTP auf den Markt.
Das Fahrzeug ist mit einer 800 Volt Architektur ausgestattet, so dass Ladeleistungen von bis zu 350 kW an den ionity Schnellladern möglich sind. Das Nachladen von 100 km dauert dann lediglich 3 min.'



- different world to the 2018(2016) I-Pace/eXJ.
 

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'Project Jennifer'(BMW V8) versus quarter of a century old engine, with claimed '575PS':

'Tested: BMW M8 Competition Hits 60 in 2.5 Seconds'


- over a second faster than the also all-wheel drive, quite a lot smaller, bit lighter 'New' F-type R, as tested by US rag Motor Trend.

- only explained by real ~450hp for the JLR 1996-originating 'top spec' V8, and ~700hp, maybe a tad more, for the BMW.

This is the engine Speth was supposed to have got, with the media spreading the word since 2016, and until quite recently.

The I-Pace and EV-Jaguar talk was a sideshow. What killed JLR was engines.
 
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